[Editor’s Note: Kate Bryan is a writer and speaker who holds a Bachelor’s degree in Liberal Arts from Franciscan University of Steubenville and a Master’s degree in Public Affairs and Political Communication from the Dublin Institute of Technology in Ireland. She has appeared on numerous television and radio programs on EWTN, The Blaze, Sun News Network, Ave Maria Radio, Relevant Radio, and more. She regularly speaks on a variety of issues including the power of storytelling, female empowerment, women, and culture. She spoke to Charles Camosy.]
Camosy: OK, full disclosure here. I hand-picked you – begged you, really – to write the first book for the new “Magenta” series with New City Press. Thank you so much for taking the time to do it – especially with everything else you have going on, including with 1GirlRevolution. Maybe we can start there. Why, despite being so busy with other things, did you think it was important to take this huge chunk of time out of your schedule to write this book?
Bryan: When you asked me to write this book, I’ll be honest, I was hesitant – and for numerous reasons. One being that I had so many other things going on, so many sticks already in the fire and I probably didn’t need to be adding a book to the mix. Secondly, I knew that if I wrote this book, it would have to be very personal and some of the stories and some of my perspectives might surprise people. I didn’t know if I had the bandwidth to deal with any of that adversity and it might have been easier not to write this book. But the more I thought about it and prayed about it, I became more and more convicted that this book needed to be written.
There are stories in this book that I felt needed to be told and I was pretty sure that there would never be another opportunity to tell those stories — especially not in the way that I wanted. I am forever grateful for this opportunity to speak and to share my stories and experiences in such an authentic way. So thank you, But, I also felt a deep responsibility to share these stories for so many other people out there, specifically women and girls, who have experienced the same things that I have. And even those who haven’t experienced the same things or maybe they experienced the same things from a different perspective, this book is for you too.
My hope is that this book gives all people hope, perspective, and helps every person find compassion for those they may disagree with – especially in this world that is so captivated by division. And to all of the women in the world and the church – this book is especially for you. I hope that this book inspires you to be the woman that you were created to be, gives you courage to speak up and stand up for what you believe in, and helps you find peace in every chapter of your life!
Your absolutely amazing op-ed in the Washington Post – titled “I’m a 32-year-old virgin, and I’m living the feminist dream” – was behind my asking you to write this book. I still can’t quite believe that happened, actually. Can you explain how that piece translates into what you are up to in your new book, which is titled Living the Feminist Dream: A Faithful Vision for Women in the Church and World?
Wow. Thank you. I still can’t believe that piece happened either, at times. I wrote that piece in the Washington Post out of frustration because I kept seeing articles that talked about chastity as something “archaic” or blamed so-called “chastity” for failures in marriage and in life. But I felt like all of those articles fell short and they didn’t represent me or what I knew to be true. Chastity, as I’ve come to understand it, is the perfection of love. It’s not too much and it’s not too little – it’s practicing the virtue of chastity to the culmination – which is the perfection of love.
I wrote that piece for the Washington Post after trying to get others to write it, but it was far too personal – so no one wanted to do it. And that’s kind of like this book. I would have loved it if someone else wanted to write this book, but looking at all of the books out there – I didn’t see anything that really spoke to chastity and life as a single person in the world and in the Church – as this book does.
This book is revolutionary, in the same way that the Washington Post piece was, because there aren’t many single Catholic authors that are talking about faith, virtues, and the role of women in the world and in the Church – in the same way that this book does. In the world and in the Church, women are so often shoved into neat little boxes that we were never meant to fit in. Women are fascinating creatures, with many facets, each with a unique voice, and many stories to tell. And that’s what I wanted to explore in this book, in the same way that I expressed it and explored that same premise in my Washington Post piece.
You tell some amazing stories in this book. And some of them are very personal. One is about the fact that you were born with a rare immune disease called “Job Syndrome.” Can you tell us a bit more about that?
My sister, who is four years younger, and I were diagnosed with Job Syndrome when I was four years old. I had always had terrible eczema since I was born and doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong, until my sister and I were both diagnosed with this rare immune deficiency. Job Syndrome was named after “Job” in the Old Testament because, like Job, people with this immune deficiency were expected to “suffer greatly.” When my sister and I were diagnosed there were only 25 documented cases (that was 33 years ago), today there are only 250 documented cases.
Job Syndrome has been a big part of my story because I have suffered greatly, but like Job, I’ve overcome so much, and my story has become a story of resilience and empowerment over victimhood and self-pity. We all have out stories of difficulties, pain, suffering, and adversity to share — but the important part of those stories is how we deal with all of it. Will we be the victim or the victor in our story? Always choose — victor!
Who are the women that have inspired you the most? Can you name two or three who you talk about in the book?
One of the most surprising things about the responses to this book is how intrigued people are when the see the likes of Malala Yousafzai, Rosa Parks, Dolly Parton, Mother Teresa, and the Blessed Mother, all lined up on the same page. To me, all of these women have been such inspirations to me in different ways, but there is also so much synergy with these women and the stories and examples that they convey to the world. Of course, the ultimate “feminist” and Queen of heaven and earth is the Blessed Mother, but I believe — that ALL women are called to be examples and reflections of who she is and what she embodies. And I believe that the courage, beauty, and examples of women like Malala, Rosa, Dolly, and Mother Teresa are all reflections of what the Blessed Mother is and what she stands for. Women have a particular gift, I believe, to not only be resilient in their own lives, but also to transform their lives, the lives of their children, their children’s children, and countless generations to come. And we need to recognize that unique power that women have and empower their lives, their stories, and their voices. Women are changing the world every single day, and Malala, Rosa, Dolly, and Mother Teresa are a few examples of those world-changing women who will forever be a part of our lives, our stories, and our history.
One of the most important interventions in the book, in my view, is frank discussion about being a single female adult. How can the Church better welcome single adult women as full members into Christ’s Body?
This is a very important part of the book, if not the most important part, in my opinion. And ultimately, it’s the main reason and drive behind me writing this book. As a single Catholic woman living and working in the world, I have felt for a very long time that I don’t fit in. I don’t fit into “the world” because I’m a (striving) faithful Catholic, and I don’t fit into the Church because I’m in my 30’s and I’m not married, and I don’t have children. But the reality is, I’m not a unicorn. There are so many others out there like me. And not just women. I won’t break it all down because this is a complex discussion that honestly deserves its own Q&A, but the reality is — there are specific boxes that both the Church and the world tries to cram each and everyone of us into and the reality is — none of us will ever fit in a box.
In the Church there are groups for young married women, but what about the married or single women in their 30’s? There are groups for young adults, but what about those who are 35+? Where do they fit in? Then, there are groups for mothers, but what about married women who have struggled with infertility for years and have been unable to have children? These are just a few examples of where the Church falls short, and I think we could say the same about the world. The reality is — we are complex, complicated, and fascinating beings — and both the Church and the world need to start acting like it – and recognizing that.
