I have a teenage daughter. I have given her the sex talk and believe that she is not (yet) sexually active. I have also learned, through my friendships with her peers mothers’ that they are all (4 of 5) putting their daughter on birth control pills regardless of whether or not the mothers know their daughter’s sexual status. The thinking is that they are likely to become sexually active at some point and there is a need to protect them from pregnancy prior to that point. A further wrinkle is that 3 of the 4 have done this without talking it over with their husbands, and their husbands do not know about it.

I agree with the idea of putting the girls on birth control, but also know that my husband would object due in part to his Catholic upbringing (only in part, though, as he is not opposed to the use of birth control in our relationship). I’m not Catholic.

This raises a question for me which is not about the morality of birth control, but rather the morality of acting solo within the marriage partnership. In other words, is this “girl stuff” and therefore within my sole purview as her mother, or is this a family conversation about a religious belief and its implications that I’m therefore obliged to have with my husband?

Muddled Mother