This year, as she has every year for the past decade, my Jewish sister-in-law is coming to my parents’ house for Christmas dinner. I know she is there to show her love for her husband, my brother, and our family, and she’s always very respectful and polite, but sometimes I worry that all the overt references to Christ (we play a recording of Handel’s “Messiah” throughout the day; we pray before dinner; afterward, during dessert, we sing a few hymns), make her uncomfortable.

Should I ask my father, who leads the prayer and the hymns, to tone it down in deference to her? Or should I leave it alone? After all, I’d hate to embarrass her by changing our traditions on her account.