Many months ago, I offered to write a college reference for the daughter of a friend. I don’t know the young woman very well, but I like everything I’ve seen. I love her parents and I love my alma mater and I believe she would be a good fit.

But now that the time has come, I’m miffed. Initially it seemed that her parents hoped I’d write the letter without talking with their child at all. When I said I’d like to meet with her, it became difficult to arrange and I never heard from the student herself, only her parents. Now I’m stopping by her house after a long day of work to meet with her — and her parents are at the theater! Am I wrong to feel put out?

— letter writer